He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
