we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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