Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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