Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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