I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
