I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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