You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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