I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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