i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
