its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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