Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
