i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
