He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize