i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I could fuck to npr.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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