? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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