OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i would punch a child for taco bell
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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