me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
