im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?