so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
