I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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