I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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