Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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