I'm gonna have a badass scar
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
