I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
