Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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