we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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