The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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