That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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