Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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