Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
