I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Mom said you looked used
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
