New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Randomize
