I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
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First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
All I want is dick and wine.