No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just cropdusted the office
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
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I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
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THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.