why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck