I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
