is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
