So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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