Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize