I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
