i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
In America we eat man semen.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
