bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
