I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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