Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
