Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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