so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
