You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
