we're blogging at a bar
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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