As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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