Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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