I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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