dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
