I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I need a burrito and a hug.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
