Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
