if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
the condom got lost in my hair
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize