and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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