Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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