this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
