I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize