no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait