I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation