if i died would you start the facebook group?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.