I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer