you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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