she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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