i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
