you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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